Sleep doesnt come over night

dear love

Do you remember when you had that last person that you didn’t want to let go of? When you felt it the best thing to say good bye but now you realize it really wasn’t? Well here’s my letter to that person.

Dear______,

I woke up this morning thinking about how you built me up only because I tear myself down. But you know that. I know I don’t have the most self confidence in myself and every movement that I have gets second guessed, but you were the one who taught me to look past that.
You were the first one to call me out on being a fake smile. Come on now. I work in retail and that was my norm… But you didn’t like that.

And the first picture we took. Ugh how uncomfortable. Thank goodness beers where there right? If not I would have felt so awkward. But after awhile it was cool , and it was so easy with you. I didn’t have to pretend. You liked me, for what I was. I remember you telling me that you enjoyed the fact that I wasn’t a “gangster” or a “thug”.  I was just me, and when you told me that I still felt that I had to play a role  of someone that I wasn’t . I should have listened.

I still haven’t found someone to quite accept me for being the guy who doesn’t know how to cook. Or someone to except that I don’t know how to get over things in a heartbeat. Something you tried to show me.

What about when I saw you on the casual. You and I would converse and that was it. My bad habit is that I never say what I wanted to. But that’s me. I thought that you would see past that.  And I was wrong.

But now I am here writing a letter to no one. And maybe to someone. But its there.

Robert
Looney

PS. Much to do about nothing.