Sleep doesnt come over night

line steppers

I am one of those people that get a little emotion when the certain commercials come on. I know it’s sad but it’s very true. If it was up to me I would take the first five episodes of Americas got talent and watch the last 5 minutes of them. That, to me, is when the water works really get put on. Its usually because it’s a sad sob story on how that person conquered   some disease, poverty, of how no one believed in them. But I’m a sucker for it. I am I can’t lie. So if someone can do that for me please let me know. 
but in the same level I do get that way about certain things in my life. 
Its like line steppers… I hate them. They push and push. You know what everyone else please stop reading because I only want to talk to the line steppers.

Line steppers- Stop. You are only hurting those around you.  And in the long run your hurting yourself. In skool you would be called a bully.

And for those beautiful people who are line steppers.

Beautiful line steppers- though the muscles, pretty face, whatever… it will all end once you line step. People will see you for what you are… now, not the people you have that are caught up in your web… they don’t count, but people who have an honest opinion.

Oh well. Maybe it doesn’t matter.

So line steppers beware. We are watching.

dear love

Do you remember when you had that last person that you didn’t want to let go of? When you felt it the best thing to say good bye but now you realize it really wasn’t? Well here’s my letter to that person.

Dear______,

I woke up this morning thinking about how you built me up only because I tear myself down. But you know that. I know I don’t have the most self confidence in myself and every movement that I have gets second guessed, but you were the one who taught me to look past that.
You were the first one to call me out on being a fake smile. Come on now. I work in retail and that was my norm… But you didn’t like that.

And the first picture we took. Ugh how uncomfortable. Thank goodness beers where there right? If not I would have felt so awkward. But after awhile it was cool , and it was so easy with you. I didn’t have to pretend. You liked me, for what I was. I remember you telling me that you enjoyed the fact that I wasn’t a “gangster” or a “thug”.  I was just me, and when you told me that I still felt that I had to play a role  of someone that I wasn’t . I should have listened.

I still haven’t found someone to quite accept me for being the guy who doesn’t know how to cook. Or someone to except that I don’t know how to get over things in a heartbeat. Something you tried to show me.

What about when I saw you on the casual. You and I would converse and that was it. My bad habit is that I never say what I wanted to. But that’s me. I thought that you would see past that.  And I was wrong.

But now I am here writing a letter to no one. And maybe to someone. But its there.

Robert
Looney

PS. Much to do about nothing.

me in short

Ok this one is short but to the point. I have always been the kinda person to see the good in other people. I think that is a result due to people seeing the good in me. But that has to end some time right? I mean there is not always a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow. Maybe at the end of the rainbow there is a cat. Yeah a black cat. Something that in the end will scratch you. Or maybe a tiger that hasn’t eaten for three or four days and now that you walked up on it, guess what? You freaking dinner now. So now you backed in a corner and all you can do is think. “Maybe the positive side isn’t always the best side”

Look kids point of the story is don’t judge a book by its cover. Even if its a nice shiny cover.

Sent from my BlackBerry Smartphone provided by Alltel

widows live

ok this is me being the karate kid.

Ok so now I am going to try and use my Microsoft word program to do a blog. I don’t feel like I have been using it. I remember thinking that when it first came out I need it. Even though my job does not require me to have it.

So now let’s see about me adding a picture. Let me look.

Here is me beating the Pillsbury dough boy because he stole a cream puff of mine. Ugh.

Ok so I am going to try and do a link. Let see. Oh I got one. I have been listening to this show that I have become a fan of the Bobby Bones Show. They had a second chance prom thing last night. I wanted to go so bad. Next time I will be there! I WILL BE THERE. Lol.

Well here it is the tester. I hope it works…

well here is the results!

So for the last seven days I did things that I would not normally do. And as for my little social experiment. I don’t even know if anyone follows this or not but here is what I found out.
• I can talk to random people if I really wanted to. Sure I might be red in the face, palms all watered down with sweat. But I did it.
• Not everyone you talk to will always talk back. Some people did. The awkward part to me was trying to keep a conversation going but I tried. A lot. I failed more than I succeeded. But I tried.
• Not very many people respond to someone like me. I read about a month ago that woman love confidence in a man. I can see that. Me I have a little less than that. Lol. But I know that about me now. I think that woman want that “Macho” man. The bling. The muscles. Lol. That would never be me. I am that guy who talks about everything. I laugh out loud, I say what I think about what I am feeling. That’s seems to be a turn off for some.
• My job runs me for the most part. But it doesn’t hold me back. The people I follow on twitter that I choose to get text messages when they update, well I take like mini breaks. And for me to say that I take any kinda breaks is a good break through.
• When I greet someone I tend to have a girly voice. Lol.
• I am lame. Today I went to Wal-Mart in another town just because I thought about my home girl. I walked around and didn’t buy anything. But I thought about her and I went. LAME-O
• Listening to slow song does not help me. At all.
• I over analyze things but that’s how I do . If I ever met a woman that was interesting then it would go away. I mean it just would have to.
• I don’t want o just get laid. That’s what everyone seems think I need to do so I won’t be so uptight. But I am no t like that. Oh well.
Well there you go. For the last seven day that’s what I learned.

day 4

Ok so here is my day number four “not being my self. I have to come up with these on my own. HELP ME PEOPLE. LoL

I have three things that i want to share…
1. Past: I don’t think that what we had was strong,. It happens, but I personally believe thats my fault. If something happens where someone else and I break things off I believe that is my fault
2. Present: there is no one who would like to take a seat in this boat. Lol. no takers. But I am hopeful.
3. Future: I am a guy that doesn’t use the term “wut up shorty” as a pick up line. I am sensitive. I am needy at times but so very giving most of the time. I like romantic things and yet sometimes I am not romantic.
Ok so this makes me sound border line gay but I am not. Again I am not.I just kinda know what i like.

I think that the more I write I slip into the role that I am supost to play. Me being me.

And that is my day 4 of me doing something that I wouldn’t normaly do. giving a hint on what i personally feel about a were i am on the this whole woman thing…
*head low*

day 2

OK so my social experiment…. Hmm… let me see.
Today I didn’t think about it this morning when I woke up. It was more of an afterthought. My homegurl had a suggestion that I didn’t think about. You know about stepping out of my limitations. Her suggestion is this. She would pick a person and get her information and I would call her. Sort of like a blind date. That’s the way I see it. Now on my quest to find maybe a relationship I thought this was corny. But I looked at it like a different way. If I went on a date with a stranger then I would be forced to be social. I am not trying to just hook up. More like learn how to interact on a social level. So even though I wasn’t totally for it, I said I would do it. Again I wasn’t trying to do anything but understand what it is to meet new people. Interacting with new people that are not customers, or in a customer setting, is kind of hard for me. But I did give her tomorrow. She has a whole shift. There were rules I laid down as to kind of safe guard a bad date.
1. She has to be somewhat something I want to actually date. Not just eye candy.
2. She has to be at least 24 through 38 years of age. I don’t think that it would benefit her or me if there was nothing to talk about.
That’s about it. I can think of a lot more at this time but I stopped at those two. Ugh. Well hopefully tomorrow/today will not be an embarrassment day for me.

seven days!!!

Hmmm.. Not going to make this a long one. (That’s what she said.  Awww..) But here is something that I am going to do. I am going to do this as an experiment. For the next seven days I am going to try and do one thing a day that I would not normally not do. I do need suggestions on this because I have already ran out.

Ok so this day Monday I did it. I cut my facial hair.  I look like I am about 19 again. Now usually I would only do this on big days. But this time I did it just cause. Ok and I knew that I would get negative results. But heres the thing. I wanted them and I would always come back saying something positive about that. When I shaved last time and I would get a negative comment I back down. But not today. I liked my choice. I was going to put a picture but I might tomorrow. It’s pretty late right now.

by the way good job!

Sat/Sun

The day started normal. I was running late. Like always. Mornings are very hard for me. I think cause my mind wonders at night about things that that have no meaning. People at work say that I over analyze things. People from twitter say that too… and I think MySpace friends say that… oh yeah and the emails say it. I guess it might be somewhat true. But I do and that’s me. Maybe a social disorder?
So the day started late. And I always feel like I have to play catch up. But my team does well to help and again I thank them every chance I get.
Sometimes I think that maybe if I could have a tape recorder on me, well then it could be a podcast and I truly believe that people would listen. Our conversations range from a wide verity of topics. Sometimes people’s feelings get hurt, sometimes everyone laughs, but most of the time I am the one getting ragged on. Now in no way shape or form do I take offence. At the moment I might seem like I do but I can’t. I put myself out there and even though it does make me look like a weaker person, I don’t think that I am. (oh yeah did I tell you I teared up on wall-E) Sometimes they talk about things that make me turn so red/black I have to walk away. Sometimes I speak what I say and just go from there. But opinions are what I like.
I would describe Saturdays as my lil own private therapy. So saying that, I should kinda tell you what I learned. Top five things I learned about myself.. ugh. I am so embarrassed but who cares: (not in any order)

1.       My perfect girl has nothing to do with looks. I care more about how I feel around someone versus what they look like.

2.       I cannot name my top five hottest celebrities. I randomly spitted out names when asked but I need to work on that.  Maybe

3.       Carrying around an article from maxim is not cool. Ok the picture is of someone who I think would be a cool person to meet and pick her brain. And she’s kinda hot in my eyes.

4.       I need to take more chances. You can say it however you want but that’s the just of it.

5.       I cant go to a strip club. That’s all im saying unless you want to really know.

My printer stopped working and I hate that. I don’t really print anything but I copy a lot. I went to best buy and while I was there you can tell they were about to close. The employees kept looking at me. I wasn’t going to purchase anything I just wanted to know the price range I need to save up for. There were about ten employees who told me about how they were going to close. Blah. I had to wonder if that’s what my customer’s felt like when someone makes an announcement in my store.

OK so as far as this blog goes. No I didn’t get mad. I haven’t done one in a whole minute because I got caught up in life. LOL. but real people know what im talking about. Not everyone agrees with what they read but I do. If I wanted everyone to agree with me then I would be a sheep that I criticize. So blah. And as far as me being mad because of the emails and texts… maybe even the comments. No. I am not. Everyone who reads this is a friend in one way shape or form. So I enjoy friends opinions.

Ok real talk. LoL. Who says that? For reals I know I don’t make time for things that I should mainly people. Heres my theory and reason. If you have ever seen me at work I am so overly happy it looks fake. I say hi to everyone and try to stay as positive as I can. I look people in the eyes when I speak. I shake hands… Hell, you would think I was running for mayor. But once I clock out, it’s almost like I shut down. I keep to myself. My texting skills go on high alert, but I very rarely talk on the phone. Its like I shut myself out to everyone. It just happens that way. I don’t seem to do well when it comes to interacting with people that I just met. I don’t feel like I am an interesting enough person to just start conversations outside of work. So my brain works too much, but I don’t think it’s a bad thing. (maybe that should have been part of my top five. I over analyze things.) About that… let me just say over analyzing things does not mean I think negative. 

Top five hot ladies:

1.       Tila Tequila

2.       Nelly Furtado

3.       Eliza Dushku

4.       Morgan Webb

5.       Megan fox

Ok only reson why I made that list is because I had time to think. And I cheated. I looked online!

Watcha think?

Nap time!!!!